The garbanzo in my head keeps on a spinin

There's a fungus
among us
and you are the one.
To find it
and kill it and
shoot it at the sun



(8trak)

Communion host nachos

I think all Jesus freaks should be forced to smoke crack cocaine on a daily basis.

If they don't already.

venom comes in many shapes and sizes

when will they finally invent a pill that violently explodes upon making contact with the enzymes inside our stomachs?

I think this pill would be best used on people who are always angry. and rascists as they are always angry too. There should simply be no tolerance for people who treat their fellow man with anything other than decency.

hold the anchovies please


(8trak)

in the future sidewalks will be made with the scraps left over from fat old pigs

who will be laughing then? Not me I tell you. Not me.


(8trak)

Put on your old school leather football helmet. We're gonna go slap dragons

When we finally reinvent the prom I hope they allow angry bulls into the event.

Speaking of bulls I'd actually like to see one in a china shop. I bet they would just stand their menacingly in one of the aisles as you came around a corner just to remind everyone not to fuck around with the china.



(8trak)

The Galaxy wore its raincoat to the beach

"Gentlemen, rev your engines and blow up the balloons. There's going to be a party in the cafeteria with chicken wings and things," said the horseshoe pattern bald emcee as he grabbed his crotch.

Quickly, quietly the audience loathed the host with all their might wishing at once that he was naked and humiliated on stage. Their thoughts worked together tirelessly and their brain waves brandished all its weaponry to bring down this God awful person standing before them.

"There's no way out, although you already made it in," continued the host.

A crazy eyed, buzz-cut Marine reject stood up in the crowd and screamed, "That's what she said you child molesting mother fucker!" The ex-marine whipped out a pistol from his waistband and fired a single shot, exploding through the microphone in his hand before breaking through the flesh between his eyes and stream rolling through his brain out the back of his skull. It was all so impressive from 30 yards (at least) away.

The audience poured its chaos to the shooter. He found his way on their shoulders as he was carried out of the mess hall in a bum rush, celebrating their mass exorcism from the banality of it all.

Which came first the chicken or the egg? Chicken and Dumplings did

On this, the 8th annual Pennipacker Pumpkin Punch, we remember those who have fallen as result of food poisoning and accidental hydrochloric acid related deaths by punching pumpkins in the face as hard as we can until they rupture and ooze. It was started by Edwin Pennipacker and the proceeds go to food poisoning awareness. Shrimp cocktail will be the primary food at the event. Bon appetite! And Happy Punching!


(8trak)