Ass cancer

The movie is called "Ass Cancer: the Story of a Man who Thought it was Funny when he got Ass Cancer at First, but then he Realized Shit was Real and Slowly Died and it's Actually a Really Sad Movie."

Trailer:

Doug Parkin come home from work with some news...

"I GOT FUCKING ASS CANCER!"

[He screams this comically and laughing as he stands with his hip resting against the island in the middle of his kitchen.]

But then (cue "Let my Love Open the Door"]

He learns...

How ass cancer...

Can also make you...

An ass of a man...

[and then he becomes a donkey (with ass cancer?) I don't know.]

*****
I think I might have ass cancer. Seriously.

They came baring gifts of baskets filled with dynamite

The bicycle wheels turned but the people on the bike went no where.

That's what happens when you try to ride through a swamp.


-- Posted with love

the toilet paper in the bedroom sounded like a swarm of huming birds

nope

yeah

maybe

alright

no soft stool for the first time in a week and a half.

I drank a rum and coke while on the john. It was filled with wonder and joy.

The trumpets sounded when the little people stumbled on to the beach.

Popcorn

OMG Biggest Loser with retards only except the host

well, maybe the host.

that is all.

No, wait. There should be a skinny, in-shape person to compete in all the physical challenges they do every week...you know, just to let everyone remember what's really going on out there.

My trenchcoat is a dick

The turnpike on my way to the Parkway where I'll drive to my driveway and park

What time does the horse poop start?


-- Posted from dick

I disobject

Doesn't it just seem like anyone you ever knew that chose to pay for law school one way or the other is now a lawyer?

I mean, it seems like if you can afford it, you'll eventually be a lawyer.

It can't be that hard.

Really?

That is a lifetime of excitement all in one week.

Bologna and Cheese...

all over your face - but seriously, are we not supposed to notice the difference between all the Rusty(s?) characters in all of the National Lampoon vacation movies?

Are we supposed to pretend that they're all the same? Like, what's going on here? Are we supposed to not notice?

The world just wouldn't be the same without dental implants

Apple juice. Is that like mayonaze?

The pilsbury doughboy is a rapist?


-- Posted from on top of anus

Touchdowns in video games should be as exciting as scoring goals in hockey video games but they're just not

Let me have the kerosene. You can install the window screens and then we can remove jimmy's spleen.

Hippos fart a lot I'll wager.


-- Posted with anus

Give me the firehose dammit

The off light was on. How does one get the off light off I wondered to myself. It then ocurred to me that my shoelaces were untied. Going down to tie the laces is when it happened. My pants became full and there was nothing I couldve done to stop it from happening. It came unexpectedly for one thing and bending over made it nearly impossible to tighten the sphincter even if it hadn't come unexpectedly. So there I was with untied laces and pants full of accident. Well I tied the damn laces so it wasn't all for nothing.

My altimeter is sore.



-- Posted from the anus

Nick and Norah's Infinite GAYlist

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist is good if you want a tween hipster jizzing in your face