Steroids are good if you like shitting piss and pissing shit

Thermometers would be more informative if they developed goosebumps when chilly, turned frosty when freezing, did nothing when comfortable, sweat like a hot scrotum sack when hot or ran like a faucet when really fucking hot

Perhaps I have bats in the belfry.(8trak)

Baseball Bat Cadavers

When I'm out and about and walking around on the ground and come across a lonely stone or rock I like to pick up said stone or rock and relieve myself where the rock was and then place the rock back down. Its comforting from a certain perspective to know with almost absolute certainty that traces of anyone else's piss will never be found under these scattered stones but mine. The power one feels from such knowledge is almost enough to melt glaciers with one glance.


(8trak)

Space Pie

space pie would probably taste pretty good.

(8trak)

there's a warplane in my thunder box

today in the bathroom I experienced probably the closest thing to child birth a man can experience.

also woke up in the middle of the night to pee. Piss session was long and dream like.


few should wear cheese for shoes.

(8trak)

Dear Robocop

Dear Robocop,


Thank you Robocop from the bottom of my heart for showing me how to kick ass and take names. Seldom(if ever) you are given credit for dismantling the Iron Curtain but I know deep down that it was you all a long. You've been under the radar for many years now but I know you are still there lurking under the surface like a predator with sharp teeth and cartlidge fin. You're the best. I wish i had lazer beam eyes like you. bye


(8trak)

The garbanzo in my head keeps on a spinin

There's a fungus
among us
and you are the one.
To find it
and kill it and
shoot it at the sun



(8trak)

Communion host nachos

I think all Jesus freaks should be forced to smoke crack cocaine on a daily basis.

If they don't already.